Here's hoping...The Depression Cure by Dr Steve Ilardi

This is going to be an ongoing post where I read and follow the book and blog about my experiences. 

So...honesty time. 

I do have depression. I've had it for more than half my life and so I don't know where I begin and depression ends. Who could I have been without this depression? I wonder all the time. I am reminded of a tree that used to grow near my home when I was a child. It grew so closely next to a chain link fence that after about a foot of growing alone, the trunk pressed against and eventually enveloped a part of the chain links. I would stare at this section, wondering if it hurt the tree very much. The tree grew away from the fence eventually when the fence ended and likewise, I hope also to grow away from this depression. 

To give an idea of how I am affected...

I wish almost every day that I wasn't alive. 

But I do live, everyday, only myself knowing. Is this courage? Is this stupidity? Just plain dumb animal living? Eating, drinking, excreting. It's all I can do sometimes. 

I know that the pain of living never ends. I brace myself, knowing that the death of my mother, father, brother will come, three devastating blows yet to come, and one day myself. I know we all die alone. I know it everyday. 

I know the pain of being old and alone already because I am young and alone now. 

Sometimes, I just want life to be over and done with and yet sometimes, I am angry that this is all I want and I want to believe that I can have a good life, a fulfilling life despite the sorrows yet to come. 

So onto the book. 

The author of this book pretty much promises that his Therapeutic Lifestyle Change (TLC) program will if not cure, at least alleviate depression. 

There are six components:

omega-3 fatty acids

engaging activity

physical exercise

sunlight exposure

social connections

enhanced sleep

I am open to trying this program because as Dr. Ilardi points out in his book and as I well know, antidepressant medications aren't all that effective. 

The downside to this program is that one must be at a certain level of depression i.e. not the paralysed with depression stage in order to be able to start and keep going with this program.

I think that the only thing that can brick this for me is that I know I tend to give up just like that, out of the blue. Self-sabotage issues, I know. I do plan on working on this with a therapist but for now, I want to focus on moving out of my crappy flat where there are pigeons living in the bathroom.